As a young leader (and even 25+ years into it), I often beat myself up for mistakes I’ve made in leadership—not having the right words to share at the right time, not speaking up in the moments I should, missing a chance to highlight someone’s efforts, putting in too many hours instead of prioritizing other things of equal value in my life. I could literally write a book based on all the lessons I’ve learned along the way. (I have a list started in case I do decide to write that book!) Hopefully they’re lessons I’ve learned from and haven’t replicated. But mistakes nonetheless.
Are you like me? Do you strive to be perfect? It’s an impossible achievement, the carrot you can never grasp. Desiring perfection leaves you longing and in constant struggle.
In Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff,” he dedicates an entire chapter to making peace with imperfection. He writes, “I’ve yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace.” Perfectionists focus on everything that is still yet wrong, rather than embracing all that is already right. It’s a losing battle.
What I’ve come to finally appreciate 2+ decades into leadership is that I wouldn’t be a strong leader without the mistakes I’ve made. My imperfections are good for me! It’s true I’ll never be perfect, but the only way I’ll improve is to learn from what I haven’t yet mastered. I need to find the right in the wrong!
Like a rock tumbler, it’s the tossing and turning and bumping against things that makes the rock smooth. It’s no different with our leadership. We are polished when we’re humble enough to learn from life’s bumps and bruises. Consider the missteps as blessings that are making you better. Instead of something to shy away from, mistakes are building your character. Embrace them! That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?!?! What mistakes in your leadership have made you stronger?
Consider too, the example you’re setting for your teams. How you handle the setbacks sets the example for them in their own mistakes. Do you embrace the tough feedback rather than hide from it? Do you show your vulnerability and admit mistakes? Do you practice self-grace? Do you ask for help? These practices also make you STRONGER—not weaker—in the eyes of the employees you serve. You’re fostering a psychological safety that builds great culture by giving them permission to take risks, make mistakes, learn, and grow. We learn where imperfection lies: outside our comfort zone. Not in it.
By encouraging you to see the positives, I’m not suggesting you ignore areas where you can improve or to stop striving to do better. Pause often (as in, daily) and allow yourself to take inventory of your goodness. Highlight what you do right, face your opportunities with humbleness, welcome the chance to learn, forgive yourself for being human, and make peace with the rest. No one is expecting you to be perfect; you shouldn’t either. Accept life’s reality and beauty as it is, right now—with all of its imperfections.
Success isn’t about being a perfect leader. It’s about finding peace among the imperfections.
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“Perfection is trying to control how other people see me. Greatness is about knowing I am doing the best I can.” - Brené Brown
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Explore these workshops and programs offered by our RWHC Education Team to improve your skills of making peace with imperfections:
- Tell Me More: The Art of Giving & Receiving Feedback
- Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
- Introduction to Psychological Safety
- MindSET or MindSET Reboot
To learn more, visit: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Series or email me at csearles@rwhc.com.
Consider joining our Leadership Bites program: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Bites
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Corrie Searles, MPT, Leadership Development Educator
In Corrie’s role as Leadership Development Educator at the Rural Wisconsin Health Cooperative (RWHC), her aim is to empower leaders—formal and informal—to create positive influence that enables others to serve well.
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