I love pie! I rarely turn down the chance to enjoy a slice…lemon meringue, peach, apple, pumpkin, pecan, chocolate, cherry, even grape! There’s only one pie I had to develop a taste for – humble pie. Do you have a taste for it as well?
Too often as leaders we talk ourselves into believing we have to have all the answers, to be seen by others as smart, put together, confident, capable, competent. Reality reminds us we are incapable of all those characteristics in all circumstances. This is why humans are social beings; we rely on others. We each bring our own strengths and limitations. Accepting we don’t have to be everything to all people frees us from the chains of self-imposed expectations for perfection. It opens the doors of humility and freedom for learning…and a bite of humble pie.
Research offers its own dose of humble pie*. A coachable leader is one who has interest in seeking feedback, exploring blind spots. Unfortunately, our coachability tends to decline with age and career advancement.
Three things contribute to this decline in vulnerability to feedback about our leadership.
- We believe we’ve already arrived. As in, “I’ve been promoted; I’ve achieved my aim. I know what I’m doing. I’m good now...” Leadership milestones are like building muscle and finally reaching your bench-pressing goal. Just because you did it once doesn’t mean you don’t need ongoing training to continue pushing with the same strength. Plus, there’s learning to be gained at each milestone, new skills to perfect. What got you here won’t get you there. (There’s even a great leadership book by Marshall Goldsmith by that title.)
- We can’t be found out. We start to worry that if we open ourselves for feedback, it might cause others to doubt our competence and capabilities. This is another version of Imposter Syndrome—the fear that revealing our limitations will undermine our credibility. It’s quite the opposite. Openness to admit fallibility actually endears others to us and builds trust.
- It might burst our bubble. Leaders often are promoted because of high-performance accomplishments in former roles. Our self-esteem feeds on that ongoing validation of our excellence. If we show our weakness, it may crush that protective shell of “greatness” our esteem so craves within our comfort zone. We’re scared to uncover our blind spots.
Now think about that employee you lead who is so fun to coach. They’re eager to learn, willing to accept feedback, not scared to take a few risks (or even to mess up once or twice yet willing to grow from those stumbles), curious about the world around them. Aren’t they a delight? Why not be THAT person when it comes to your own leadership?
Become a coachable leader and defy research’s trend. Being coachable as a leader yields greater effectiveness, higher levels of innovation and collaboration, and improved employee engagement and retention. Now are you interested?
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Here’s how to develop a taste for humble pie bite by bite…
ASK
Regularly seek input from others (including your own team, perhaps during rounding). Assume the intention of any feedback given is meant to be helpful, not hurtful. Ask questions like…
“What’s one thing I’ve done well and should keep doing?”
“What one thing do you wish I would approach differently next time?”
“What one thing is holding me back from being more effective?”
ACCEPT
Listen without interruption. Monitor your defensiveness and stay curious about their suggestions. Consider the feedback as developmental, not evaluative. Ask questions to gain deeper understanding. Thank them for their willingness to help you.
ABSORB
Let their input simmer. Adopt an outsider’s viewpoint, as if you were looking at yourself from another angle. Reflect on their message. Look for even small bits of truth in their feedback. Seek further clarification or examples if necessary.
ACT
Determine 1-2 actionable steps you can take improve. Set a deadline for implementation. Share what actions you plan to take with the person who offered the feedback. Ask for their help to hold you accountable to those actions.
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Once you develop a taste for humble pie, you won’t be able to get enough. And unlike other pie, it won’t add to your waistline! It adds to your success. Step outside your comfort zone with the confidence to ask for candid feedback, along with the curiosity and commitment to improve. Now go…enjoy that big piece of humble pie!
*Research reference from the 2023 article, “The New Leadership Frontier: Coachability” by Jack Zenger, found at https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2023/06/29/the-new-leadership-frontier-coachability/
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“Being HUMBLE means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how IMPORTANT we can become, but to see how much DIFFERENCE we can make in the lives of others.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
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Explore these workshops and programs offered by our RWHC Education Team to increase your portion of Humble Pie:
- Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
- Tell Me More: The Art of Giving & Receiving Feedback
- Walk the Talk: Leadership Accountability
To learn more, visit: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Series or email me at: csearles@rwhc.com
Also consider joining our Leadership Bites program: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Bites
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Corrie Searles, MPT, Leadership Development Educator
In Corrie’s role as Leadership Development Educator at the Rural Wisconsin Health Cooperative (RWHC), her aim is to empower leaders—formal and informal—to create positive influence that enables others to serve well.
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