Bad Habits. Ever wondered why you can’t easily stop an old, ineffectual behavior you know doesn’t serve you and replace it with a more productive one? Be it procrastinating, saying yes too often, working through lunch, reacting impulsively, offering the solution rather than guiding the learning, staying late again… Perhaps you’ve reflected on its negative impact, recognized the need to change, known just what to do instead, even envisioned how you’ll do better…and then, wham! Out it comes again.
Or how about why, after coaching an employee on a behavior that’s impeding their success, they don’t go out and make immediate and lasting improvements? After all, you’ve offered the drawbacks of their current actions and a clear picture of what better looks like. All they have to do is do just that. What could be so hard?!?
Here’s what you need to know: Changing a habit is not that simple!
Here’s why: As years pass, the harder it is for us to unlearn an automatic habit that once was a deliberate choice. Science shows the neuroplasticity of our brain lessens as we age. Think of the many developed synapses from our repetitive actions as a bundle of knots. They’re no longer conscious behaviors and they’re difficult to “untie.” This is great if every knot represents a positive behavior. Some, however, are downright gnarly and hinder our progress.
A decade ago, an engineer by the name of Destin Sandlin attempted to ride a “backwards bicycle” (if he turned the handle bars left, the bike would go right, or vice versa). He knew how to ride a normal bike. He knew this bike was designed the opposite. Shouldn’t be a problem, right? Wrong. It took him 8 months to master this new method of steering. Eight months to rewire his brain.
What this shows is, in Destin’s words, “Knowing isn’t understanding.” We can know what should be done. That doesn’t make it easy to do. Knowing isn’t understanding; understanding isn’t doing.
In a more scientific study by the University College London, researchers found it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. What the study doesn’t share is it can take up to 198 days to break an old habit (3x longer!). Why? Many habits are tied to our sense of identity or competence:
- Us saying yes and agreeing to more work than we can handle may be tied to our identity of “helping others”
- Working through lunch or staying late may connect to our sense of recognition for “commitment and hard work”
- We may struggle to delegate because we don’t want to be viewed as “lazy or unreliable” or “incapable”
Other studies suggest habits build from environmental cues – time of day, location, emotional status, thoughts & beliefs, certain people. Those cues then become associated with a craving that drives the behavioral response leading to a reward. When repeated, a habit forms. The leader who struggles to put boundaries around how much work they accept may be cued to say yes to requests made by peers or superiors they respect. The smile and recognition offered by those peers satisfies the leader’s desire for approval and reinforces a reward of positive performance reviews.
Take a moment now to reflect:
What ineffective habits do you have? How are they tied to your sense of identity or competence? What cues precede the actions? How are the habits rewarded?
What ineffective habits do those you lead demonstrate? How might those be tied to their sense of self and competency? Are there environmental cues at play? What rewards accompany the responding behaviors?
As you endeavor to modify your own habits or support those you lead with adapting theirs, practice these 7 steps:
- Identify the habit. Name the behavior that’s getting in the way of success. Maybe for you, it’s avoiding tough conversations. For an employee, it may be reluctance to share thoughts in group meetings.
- Notice when it happens. Pay attention and take note. Under what circumstances does it happen most frequently? Is it only in certain situations? With specific individuals? Under particular emotional states? Awareness alone can spark initial changes. For example, are you comfortable giving feedback to team employees but not to your peers? Is it only in certain meetings an employee stays quiet?
- Seek to understand its roots. How is the habit tied to a sense of identity or competence? What reward accompanies the behavior? Avoiding tough conversations may tie to a deep desire to be liked, preventing you from hurting others' feelings. A fear of rejection or not being viewed as knowledgeable could cause an employee to withhold their ideas to maintain safety.
- Set the mind right. Adopt the growth mindset (help others to do the same). Recognize unlearning and relearning will come with missteps and mistakes. There’s a good chance of looking unpolished, uncomfortable, and novice. It’s part of the journey. That initial attempt to hold a brave conversation might not go perfectly. An employee’s voice may tremble when first speaking up.
- Practice patience. Remember and remind others habits don’t change overnight. It could literally take 8 months! Allow employees grace for the time it will take to transition away from old habits into new ones. Give yourself that same grace when improving your own habits.
- Commit to consistency. Destin Sandlin practiced riding the backwards bicycle 5 minutes every day for 8 months. Focus on small, consistent efforts. Progress may not be evident each day but looking back will reveal how far you—or an employee—have/has come. (Remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare: Slow and steady wins the race.)
- Design a new system. What process-related change could help spur success with the new habit or make the old habit harder to continue? Interrupt the cue-craving-response-reward cycle. Start with allowing only 24 hours to pass before engaging in tough dialogue, tightening the timeframe each week. Engage an accountability partner to nudge you when you hesitate. Impose a self-penance of paying $1 every time you don’t have a conversation you should have had. Encourage the employee to add thoughts in small groups before opening up to the large group. Do round-robins in group meetings to safely invite the employee to share their thoughts.
When forming new habits, keep in mind, you’re not failing. You’re learning to win. Employees you lead will have the same experience. It takes time, focus, practice, and patience for the brain to rewire the “knots” of new behaviors.
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“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” – Samuel Johnson
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References:
- Clear, James. (2018). Atomic Habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery an imprint of Penguin Random House.
- Gardner, Benjamin, et al. (2012, December). Making Health Habitual: The Psychology of ‘Habit-Formation’ and General Practice. British Journal of General Practice. National Library of Medicine. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3505409/.
- SmarterEveryDay. (2015, April 24). The Backwards Brain Bicycle – Smarter Every Day 133. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFzDaBzBlL0.
Explore these workshops and programs offered by our RWHC Education Team to improve your skills of Forming New Habits.:
- Coaching for Performance
- Monkey Management: Becoming an Effective Supervisor of Time, Energy, and Talent
- Using Questions to Foster Critical Thinking and Challenge Victim Thinking
To learn more, visit: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Series or email me at csearles@rwhc.com.
Consider joining our Leadership Bites program: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Bites
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Corrie Searles, MPT, Leadership Development Educator
In Corrie’s role as Leadership Development Educator at the Rural Wisconsin Health Cooperative (RWHC), her aim is to empower leaders—formal and informal—to create positive influence that enables others to serve well.
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