Unless you live and work in total isolation, at one point or another, you (or employees on your teams) will experience conflict. When conflict arises, the strategy for many is “wait and hope.” Avoid further interaction. Pray the conflict sorts itself out. How often does that strategy work? (Hint: Not often. It generally prolongs the agony.)
The next time you recognize you (or others) are stalling on conflict resolution, remember only after the storm are there rainbows. Calm exists on the other side of any temporary blip. Here are 4 tactics to move quickly through the BLIP:
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B – Bias for Action
Adopt a bias for action by setting a time limit for inaction. Put a parameter around how long waiting can last (ex: < 24 hours). In the meantime, commit to seeking out the next step. Challenge yourself to determine just one action, however small, that can be taken. (For example, teasing out the facts of the situation from the stories.) Like procrastination, often taking the first small step creates enough momentum to spur ongoing action.
L – Listen Purely for Understanding
Actively listen to the views of the other person(s) involved in the conflict. Wall out all thoughts beyond those related to deeply understanding the other’s viewpoint. Don’t allow space to consider your own thoughts, reactions, or perceptions. Listening in this way does not require agreement. Just listen and then check for understanding by paraphrasing back what was understood to be said.
I – Investigate Scientifically
The beauty of science is its practicality and lack of sentiment. Step back from the conflict and approach it like a scientist. Sift away all emotion and stories and see the situation from a factual standpoint. Dissect each piece and then put it together in a logical sequence, as if solving a puzzle. Leave emotion to the side. Work backwards, starting with the outcome that’s needed. Determine the sequence of action required to produce the necessary result.
P – Perspective-Taking
Assume the perspective of the other person(s) in the conflict. You don’t have to discount your own. But for several moments, genuinely walk the walk of the other person. Ask yourself questions like:
- How might they see this situation? What perceptions might they have?
- How is their experience different than mine? Why are our experiences not the same?
- I wonder why they see things differently? What am I not seeing?
- What in their personality, experiences, or background might lead them to a different conclusion than mine about this situation?
- What biases of mine towards this person are clouding my perspective?
- Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person respond as they did?
- If I were to instead assume positive intent in this situation, how would I view this person differently?
- Where do we share common ground, mutual purpose, similar desires? How are they just like me?
- If I were to walk in their shoes, how might my view be changed?
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When addressed in a timely way, conflict can be just a blip in the radar…not a perpetual thunderstorm.
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“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it the ability to resolve conflict by peaceful means.” - Ronald Reagan
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Explore these workshops and programs offered by our RWHC Education Team to improve your skills in the BLIP:
- Conflict: Managing Difficult Conversations with Confidence
- Service Recovery: In the Moment Responses to Patient Service Concerns
- Tell Me More: The Art of Giving & Receiving Feedback
- Understanding & Developing Emotional Intelligence
To learn more, visit: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Series or email me at csearles@rwhc.com.
Consider joining our Leadership Bites program: https://www.rwhc.com/Services/Educational-Services/Leadership-Bites
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Corrie Searles, MPT, Leadership Development Educator
In Corrie’s role as Leadership Development Educator at the Rural Wisconsin Health Cooperative (RWHC), her aim is to empower leaders—formal and informal—to create positive influence that enables others to serve well.
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